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Sunday, January 3, 2010

Road Rage: A Roddus Rant

I Just got back from a short trip down south with Mrs. Roddus to see her Rellies and I got to go for a tramp(more about that in another post). It's about a 400+ KM  drive down there, on roads that, nowadays, are very familiar to me.
I just have to say that, although we made it there and back without any serious incidents, it was infact the worst road trip I have ever been on for the amount of Idiot drivers loose on our highways. It was pure luck that we didn't witness, or indeed actuially been involved in, at least 4 head on smashes. It was also the first time ever I have uses *555 to report  on someones driving.
Idiot No. 1 I caught up to on a winding stretch of road and followed him for a while untill he finally got past the first slower car in front of us. He seemed to be having great difficulty staying on the correct side of the road as he was negotiating the bends in the road, he then passed a bus, ahead of us, on a part of the road that really didn't have enough clear visibility to be a safe manoeuver, but he got away with it this time. Later on, after I found a clear bit of road to also get myself past the bus, I caught up with him again and followed him as he would slow right down on the bensds, while still crossing the white line and then would speed up at the straights so I couldn't get past him,(a common problem when encountering idiots on our roads).
I decided just to sit it out behind him untill the next town, where we were going to take a coffie break, but at the top of the last hill, there is a Cafe, then a sharp bend in the road, first he indicated to go round the bend, then indicated to turn right into a layby and slowed right down as he prepared to do so. I then cautiously started to go round the inside of him as you do in this situation, when suddenly he just took off straight ahead, I had to slam on the brakes and he just took off like there was nobody there, he had no awareness of other traffic on the road, I gave him a blast on the horn and Mrs. Roddus took down his registration number. We followed him at a good safe distance untill we approached the next town, where he indicated to turn left into a gas station, but again he changed his mind and again started to pull out in front of me, I managed to get past him before he rejoined the road and took out the side of my car, giving him another blast on the horn and the "Bird" for good measure. When we pulled over at the coffie house, I watched which direction he went and then reported him to *555.
For Idiots No's 2 & 3 , I had to brake quickly to slow down cos they was on the wrong side of the road as I was coming towards them, as they were passing cars without enought clear visible road ahead of them.
Idiotess, No. 4 had to slam on her brakes and almost hit the bridge as I was coming across this one lane job, towards her. My approach to the bridge was pretty blind and I didn't have the right of way, so I slowed right down on my approach ready to stop and when it was obvious that there was no one on the bridge I started on it. I wasn't till I was on the bridge that I could see the road on the other side, and as I was half way across this very short bridge this big SUV came thundering round the bend that approached the bridge and I saw her vehicle wobble all over the place under heavy braking to avoid coming onto the bridge and hitting me. I had practly stopped and then had to squeeez slowly through the gap she left me. I think that the other SUV behind me actuially stopped because either he couldn't get off the bridge or he was giving her a mouthful. On our return trip I noticed that she had had total visibiliy of the bridge and the road leading up to it, so should have seen that I was gonna already be on the bridge when she got to it.
Idiot No.5 was a real wanker and I would have *555'ed him if'n I'd got his rego number. We had arrived at our destination and I was sitting in my car across from the driveway of where we were staying, waiting for someone to leave so I could get up the drive to unpack out tents. It was a narrow suburban Street with cars parked bothsides of the road behind me. A sensible bloke in another SUV slowed right down to negotiate his way through the parked vehicles and he had just passed me when I got a hell of a fright as another car full of young hoons shot past me on the footpath and bounced over the gutter back onto the road in front of me. This complete idiot couldn't wait for the other guy to finish passing the parked cars, so that he could then do the same, like a one laned bridge. He was lucky no one was backing out their drive way or some kid with his new bike Santa brought him wasn't just coming onto the footpath from his drive. I was shocked.
I thought the trip home might be difftrent, but alas, for Idiot No. 6 I really had to hit the breaks as I was coming towards the end of a long straight, cos he just HAD to pass several cars at once right NOW no matter what was coming the other way. This prick got the "Bird" and my lights flashed at him just as he slipped back onto his own side of the road and I passed him.
Finally, Idiot No.7, whom I was a couple of car lengths behind, decided to pass a truck just as he was entering a sweeping bend. It was fucken suicide, I hit the breaks to stay back from the carnage that would have ensured if someone was comming the other way. There would have been shit flying everywhere. Luckily he got away with it.
I sincerly hope our holiday road toll will not be a reflection of the Kamakazi driving of these Boneheads. I intend to *555 as many of these fools as I can from now on, lets get these fools off our roads.

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